It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
