Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
