she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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