I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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