make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
