we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
it was like eating out sand paper
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
