He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize