I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize