tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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