I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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