bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize