i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize