Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
