R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
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Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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