My hand turned me down
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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