so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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