Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I want her autograph on my taint
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize