i used baking grease as lip gloss
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
