I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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