It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
