Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
