Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
