So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
