He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize