and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
