As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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