she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
