If i come over, it means nothing
i jhust puked up my retainher.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
