you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
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