I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
