well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
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Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
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When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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