Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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