well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
it glows. i had to have it.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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