i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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