Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize