i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
