Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
