and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
