The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!