Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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