I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
