You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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