thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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