Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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