after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
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