I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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