I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I AM VODKA MAN
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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