the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
