put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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