do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
