I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
