do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
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We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
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Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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