i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize