I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
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I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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