Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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