He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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