So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
