nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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