I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
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so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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