I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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