I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
