They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
i believe in u and ur pee
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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