U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
