I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
