What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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