i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
